Theater of the Mind
It Pays to Be Ignorant
31 episodes · 1943–1952 · Armed Forces Radio Service, CBS, Mutual · Comedy
Play It Pays to Be Ignorant on Radio Days
A spoof of serious quiz panels like Information Please. Tom Howard asked the easiest questions imaginable, and his "experts," George Shelton, Lulu McConnell and Harry McNaughton, never answered one. It ran on Mutual from June 25, 1942, then on CBS until 1950 and briefly on NBC in 1951, for Philip Morris, Chrysler and DeSoto.
Sources: It Pays to Be Ignorant, Wikipedia
Episodes
Tap a title to play it on Radio Days.
1943
- What Is a Reigning Beauty?
The panel takes on "What is a reigning beauty?" and "What beverage do we get from tea leaves?"
1944
- Why Is a Watchdog Smaller in the Daytime?
The panel's opening question: "Why is a watchdog smaller in the daytime?" - Is it Bad Luck to Postpone a Wedding
Jerry Haendiges' Vintage Radio Logs lists the same title on this date. - How Do You Keep Milk from Souring?
The panel's opening question: "How do you keep milk from souring?" - What Is an Optimist?
The panel's opening question: "What is an optimist?" - What Did the Dog Say When He Sat on the Sandpaper?
The panel's opening question: "What did the little dog say when he sat on the sandpaper?" - How Can You Tell a Jersey Cow?
Tonight's stumpers: how to tell a Jersey cow, and which Massachusetts town had the Boston Tea Party. - What Is the Best Way to Keep Bills Down?
The panel's opening question: "What's the best way to keep your bills down?" - Why is Marriage Like Taking A Bath
Jerry Haendiges' Vintage Radio Logs lists this date as “Washington, D.c..” - Why Do Some People Eat with Their Knives?
The panel's opening question: "Why do some people eat with their knives?" - Why Do People Eat Garlic?
The panel's opening question: "Why do people eat garlic?" - Do Married Men Live Longer?
Do married men live longer than single men? And whom was the Ziegfeld Theatre named for? Roland Young is the guest. - Why Does a Chicken Cross the Street?
Robert Benchley joins the panel for the chicken question, and how the saying "Never cross a bridge" ends. - Can a Letter Box?
The panel's opening question: "Can a letter box?" - What Is a Swimming Pool?
The panel's opening question: "What is a swimming pool?" Shirley Booth is the guest and sings. - What Happens When You Eat Garlic
Jerry Haendiges' Vintage Radio Logs lists this date as “Guest: Adolphe Menjou.” - Why is Kissing A Girl Like Opening a Bottle of Olives
Jerry Haendiges' Vintage Radio Logs lists the same title on this date. - What Kind of a Person Lives the Longest?
The panel's opening question: "What kind of a person lives the longest?" - What Is a Duck?
The panel's opening question: "What is a duck?" - What Is a New Year's Resolution?
The panel's opening question: "What is a New Year's Resolution?" The first contestant is the wrestler Man Mountain Dean.
1945
- Who Was Rip Van Winkle?
The panel's opening question: "Who was Rip Van Winkle?" With 'The Volcano Song.' - What Is a Window?
The panel's opening question: "What is a window?" - When is a Watermelon a Vegetable
- What Is a Windowscreen
Jerry Haendiges' Vintage Radio Logs lists this date as “Screen.” - What Is a Mother-in-Law?
What is a mother-in-law? And from what animal do we get chicken livers?
1946
- Where Do Bugs Go in the Winter?
The panel's opening question: "Where do the bugs go in the wintertime?" - What Is a Bargain Sale?
The panel's opening question: "What is a bargain sale?"
1948
- Why Do Wedding Bells Ring?
The panel's opening question: "Why do wedding bells ring?"
1949
- How Can You Make a Woman Keep Her Mouth Shut?
The panel's opening question: "How can you make a woman keep her mouth shut?" An off-air recording from WJR, Detroit.